Day (9)

As I write this, I am staring at a My little Pony blanket displaying the power of fuzziness. It is proving it rules by sticking to an air mattress propped straight up against the wall. Many kind souls loaned us beds and two of them actually worked. (Not sure whose is whose anymore and am slightly stressed about this. Oops.)

The echoing walls of our empty apartment are quite sad. It’s as if the spirit of joy that once infused this space has sighed and given up, moving on to greener pastures. Hopefully this means the van. I mean, that thing is green, y’all.

Our highs and lows are likely to be pretty intense this week which is why it’s so important for us to stay inside the margins, to not allow ourselves to go much further than mild in either direction. This is seemingly impossible to do with the chaos that surrounds us. It’s taking nearly everything I have to maintain at least a hint of equilibrium.

This is Ducky’s final week in elementary school. The matriculation ceremony is this Wednesday.  I let him know I won’t have a big bouquet of balloons or flowers. Many families make this a big day with gifts and celebrations. We can’t afford that. I do however have a tasteful card for his teacher and hope to pick him up a single red rose. (A tradition with us, thanks to this book.)

With all this radical loss happening, I feel like we are are hanging on by our nails of a mountain’s edge. My favorite quote about this is well known, (but here it is again, in case you forgot,) and I’m trying to remember that it’s our choice to hold on or let go.

It’s giddy space we find ourselves in. We are saying goodbye to, home, school, city and friends. These all seem to be ripping away from us, carried away by a huge wind. In the center of the maelstrom Ducky and I are huddled together, trying to build a fire fueled only by our determination and optimism. We are a tiny and mighty and stubborn family, unable to give up no matter what rises against us.

Soon we will jump off the cliff and find ourselves in flight. I figure we will be either madly flapping, gracefully soaring, cautiously gliding or outright crashing.  We already know that we will laugh and weep, scream and sigh, eat, sleep and fight. Hopefully we will also, sing and dance.

Because what’s a roadside revolution without dancing?

B.

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